Image credits: Google images illustrated by Christal Ferrao
Welcome to the sandy shores that hold palm trees upright always. This place has tiled roofs and seafood. The people of the land are remembered for their smiling faces that makes one want to live there forever. I visited this place a couple of weeks back and met a young lady there. I knew her as a young school girl; but today she has grown up. I had my regular conversations with her; and suddenly, there was something that emerged from our talk. I saw her cheeks had dimples on it. I felt like it had been rubbed with rose petals. Her belly was restless as if feathers were moving in it. She hesitated first; then she said, “If you could spare me some time I have something to tell you.”
“I have studied the complex mind of people, stories of oppression and emancipation; and discussed about the government and films in the country. People should know me as a dedicated worker and professional inspiration. But after all these mind games; I suddenly plug my earphones into my ears. All I want to do is, listen to slow songs that exhilarates my heart and make it seem like there is a cool soothing breeze that is swaying around me. I cannot explain about this, but it happens to me.”
She explained all these to me. Nelson Mandela says, “We have to be taught to hate, but it is possible to love without being taught. Because love is natural to the human heart.” And this girl was probably driven by this. But, till some point in time this love is explicated through our relationships with family and friends. The time one has the right to vote or drive a car, you began associate love for its role in finding your life partner. This seems to be a central focus. But I do not know whether this young lady was going through a similar experience.
She looked into my eyes, and suddenly she stopped smiling. I wondered what had happened to her. Did she lose her hope in love? And when I was about to speak, she said, “I am in love”. And before I could fuel my curiosity, she spoke again. “People around me always tell me to seek love in places that are similar like me; where they eat, speak and pray just like I do. I try, but each time this happens my eyes simply lose focus. It only seeks what my heart desires. And my heart see’s such similarity not in such places, but in areas that seem to be a stark contrast to mine. Is it true, since they say opposites attract? I really do not feel so; since I feel among all these differences I can relate to someone, speak to and understand this person like no one else. I never felt the same with the one’s suggested by those people.”
“I have travelled across states; but I do not want to blame this travel. It is in this palm leafed state that excites my heart when I see a person who is so different according to people; yet I can converse with the person.” It seems great to be in love without any barriers, I thought. Later she added, “But do you know what is worse? It is when you have conversations with someone regarding the most relevant and silly topics; yet these perceptual distinctions created by society makes you reluctant to express your feelings of love. And the feeling remains till your throat, and is not uttered. And you do not want to be in love any longer. This makes you sad. What is even worse is that because you could not express yourself; you seem to lose out on love, loving the person you thought would be yours. But they are not yours, since you have not done anything to make them feel so; neither has the other expressed their feelings to you. You do not want to speak to anyone; neither the soft music that plays thrills you now.”
I began to feel uncomfortable; since I could not respond to my friend. I am a college girl like her; it’s just that I study in another city. All I did was moved my lips; I did not know whether to pout or smile. I was about to tap her on the shoulder to tell her I understand what she means. But, as I thought of doing it I could hear her speak again. “I want to be the voice of people on television, I also want to make my presence on the silver screen, and I want to participate in the decision making procedures in the country. But sometimes when I just sit down and feel satisfied with my career, I know my heart is travelling in search of something. Perhaps I know what is it, but just cannot explain this. And when I do not get it immediately, or do not find anyone around I want to just stop letting my mind wander in this area of thought. I feel like living my life solo, all by myself. I need no one, only me,” she began turning restless. I seemed to feel useless, since I could not respond. I glanced at my phone and said that I had to make a move immediately.
I walked a few steps. Then I turned to see her. Her cheeks seemed like the rose petal scrub was still stuck to her face. But this time her eyes were damp and wrinkled. I turned to move ahead and thought, “We are so similar, her story seems like mine now. But there is one thing, just like people, love is so complicated.”